The boring rants of a lazy nerd

Showing posts with label RL. Show all posts
Showing posts with label RL. Show all posts

Friday, January 07, 2011

An Unexpected Package

Not, not in my linux distribution's package manager. That doesn't surprise me anymore. A note from the post office saying I have a package waiting for me, and would I please come pick it up. I do not remember ordering anything. I've just checked, and I don't have outstanding orders in places where I frequently shop. I note that Israel post packages carry a warning to not open unexpected packages, for security reasons. Guess I'll find out if it's a bomb in six hours, when the post office opens.

EDIT: A Firefox 4 beta team t-shirt. With a hand-written note, in Hebrew. Thank you to the local mozilla volunteer who mailed it, I hope you used company money. I only contributed two small patches, so thanks guys!

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Dreams

I had a dream, and in that dream a woman told me she wouldn't sleep with me because of my beard.

I don't know how true that is outside of my own head, but I think I'll shave off the beard and see what happens.

Friday, January 11, 2008

work and life musings

I remember when I was thirteen to fifteen I used to think I had no chance with girls because they grew up faster than boys and wanted older boyfriends. Some of them had boyfriends who were sixteen or even eighteen and you just couldn't compete with that. Last week I visited family, on the occasion of my twin cousins' fourteenth birthday. I didn't know they would have any guests and the guests didn't know non-immediate family would be there, so I found myself in a room with six fourteen year old girls, two of which were my cousins. The girls are very early stage young adults. I am a single financially solid adult guy. Short, with a full red beard and glasses. If fourteen year old me was in the room, he would think the girls would be all over themselves to be with me and would be disgusted by them, thinking I am much too old for them (which is obviously true). The thing is, they had about the same reaction to twenty three year old me as they would have (and similar girls had) to fourteen year old me. My ego may never recover.

On an unrelated note, another milestone at work, and I'm closer to pulling my own weight, though I'm not sure what to do with the life/work balance. It seems some people believe that in a startup, work is your life, and thus eliminate the issues entirely. You may engage in social activity or reading non-technical books as a way to "sleep on a problem", but that's about it. Other people separate their lives from their work. I find that commuting and sleep take up more hours from work than I have to spare, considering the workload and my effective work-speed, and I don't have any time available for "life", even if I had any. All I can do is talk to my mom during commutes, because she misses not seeing me all week. I started a facebook account, but that is not true substitute to real life.

What I need is a mobility solution and increasing work productivity by a factor of two. Also, it seems I still don't notice and/or understand what;s going on around me, people interacting - wise. Sometimes I think half my colleagues could be gay lovers and I wouldn't know.

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

New Year

I have received a pay slip for New Year's. It shows I've paid more income tax than my brutto salary in the IDF.

The codebase I'm working on is completely undocumented and has gone through enough iterations in a hurry that its original design is nowhere to be seen. I am supposed to figure a lot of stuff on my own and I'm not doing it fast enough. It is discouraging.

The elephant in the china shop is "equity" - the party line is everyone is equal and the same amount of effort is expected from everyone, but if things go well some will become very rich and the rest are just employees.

The CTO is not easy to get a long with - people agree that he's living in a dream world.

Microsoft XML serialization is a piece of shit.

Really need to think about that personal mobility solution.

Saturday, December 08, 2007

Work

I am trying to keep this blog anonymous (as in, people I work with are not supposed to read it) so I won't mention things by name and don't link to anything, to make finding it harder.

In the end of November P. has referred me to a startup company he has interviewed at. He decided he didn't want to work there but that I might want to (I think he said he decided that because the place was hardcore, not because it sucked). Anyway they were pretty eager to hire me and after an interview process that was more of a chat than an interview I was hired. They immediately agreed to my price, so maybe I asked too little. So far I have been working there for a week.

It is a small internet startup, about half a year old. They have some very competent people working there. My boss is acting in a self contradictory manner trying to both encourage me to work faster (because we're behind schedule) and not to completely shatter my self esteem, which is obviously low enough already. I have been feeling young and stupid all week. Some is because I have never worked in Java, some because I have not been working for real for two years (my service in the IDF, though it began pretty well and taught me a great deal, past a certain point was pointless and depressing, and ended in a fucking nightmare).

I work eleven and half hour days, with an hour of commute each way. I need to sit and read/learn a lot of stuff, but I have no time. I did not accomplish anything this weekend. I think I will have to learn better time management if I am to survive this.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Red

I just want to say: Elizabeth Kucinich.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Earthquake

Just felt one, about ten minutes ago.

Friday, November 23, 2007

Hmmm

So, influenza. Wonderful thing. Simply splendid. Spilled tea on my old Genius keyboard, had to replace it with one that has the "\" under the enter key until I buy a new one.

P. might even get me gainfully employed if I get off my lazy ass.

Reading about how Catch-22 was originally Catch-18 I discovered I don't know who the Jeeves fellow is, or any of P. G. Wodehouse's characters. Looked it up and what do you know? I've seen it mentioned in Hugh Laurie's short biography blurb or something, but I knew the guy playing House was known for parodying British nobility. I didn't know he was actually raised like a minor British aristocrat, but I guess they wouldn't let him parody Eton & Oxbridge graduates if he wasn't one himself. Anyway, have downloaded four seasons of Jeeves and Wooster, a bit too slapsticky but the accent is worth it. And the episode sets. English subtitles help.

Friday, October 19, 2007

The Kindness of Strangers

Hm. I don't know where to start. If another person reads this, or even me several months or years down the line, I should establish quite a bit of context for anything to make sense. But I don't want to write a novel, and I don't really wish to air other people's dirty laundry.

~~~

At a young age I have decided that as an individualist I will learn things my own way, by making my own mistakes, rather than emulating my parents and making their mistakes. It wasn't the wisest decision, but it does suit my character. In the course of my life, I have made a shit load of mistakes and sometimes have independently discovered very banal truths.

One of these ideas is something I have watched happen a number of times during my military service and have tried to explain to younger people in the months preceding my discharge.

At least in the military, the regular state of everything is snafu. People in non-grunt positions*, usually commissioned officers, are replaced every two years. Most of them are average (by definition). At best, the overall situation stays the same. Because of some form of the second law of thermodynamics, things tend to decline and stagnate. People sort of follow the prescribed procedures and they sort of mostly work, and if something is important enough then a person with authority overrides things such that things get done.

Once in a while, the new person in some position is of a higher caliber. He looks around, sees that things suck and does his best to do something about it. Through more or less heroic efforts, he changes something for the better. The surrounding parts of the organization notice this and change their m.o. to reroute things through his department - suddenly a lot more things are his responsibility. Also, to deal with the higher throughput of his department, others have to raise their efficiency as well.
The difference could be huge, but, most of the time, unless that person is very wise, the change is only skin deep: the prescribed work does not change, the rules and regulations do not change, and, most importantly, the HR profile for this person's replacement does not change.
The way work is done is very different, but unless the new attitude manages to inspire others to do the same, in two year's time when the person who started it all gets reassigned, horrible things happen. While the change from snafu to snafu is barely noticeable, the change from the way things should be done (but very rarely do) back to snafu is hard. The amount of work to be done is large, because people piped work to this suddenly productive department. New projects were started, that depend on this irregular behavior. New people's expectations of the system are completely unrealistic. The fall is hard and painful, but thankfully short.

The thing is, I believe that unless the betterment can be made permanent, i.e. regulations, or better yet, staffing profiles changed, the short period when some department kicks ass, when considered long term, is more negative than positive for the organization as a whole.

When I was younger I admired those people and believed that the reason big incompetent organizations don't break down is that all over the place in their structure, there are people such as this that get assigned to every position every x generations and bring things back up from stagnation. And of course productivity drops when they leave, but in a number of generations another one of them will be assigned there and he will fix it again. And as long as such a person is available to fix things before they completely break down, the organization will carry on doing its job, as incompetently as ever. To me, those people were heroes.

But later I decided that it is not worth it. That the short good season is just a tease. The disappointment of its passing is not worth the joy of living it. And since bringing permanent change is beyond the limited abilities of young passionate and foolish people, it is doomed to a lot of pain.

I know it sounds like deciding to live alone because you don't want to get divorced down the line. It sounds cowardly and unreasonable. But I got burned a few times, and thought it was enough.

~~~

In February, I found out that FA's IT is in abysmal shape and it desperately needs help. I volunteered. After a short email detailing my completely unverifiable credentials as an Oracle development DBA and a dotNET and C++ persistence layer developer being interested and able to maintain a LAMP project, I was cheerfully given all the keys to the castle and told the ghosts and now my problem. Really, now that I think of it, people were very eager to give me root passwords for production servers. And when I asked about some stuff, I was told I can change whatever I want. I don't have to get permission. I don't have to consult with anyone. If I think installing a different OS, web server, database, programming language runtime, email system etc. is for the best – more power to me, etc. WTF?

There are mailing lists full of people with experience far greater than mine. People who helped build the systems. Some bounce, the rest apparently abandoned the subscribed email account or configured the list as spam. Including the list moderators. There are known severe bugs in production, unfixed for years. The database is full of junk. Things that had bugs were disabled instead of being fixed. Like deleting. There is a heavy odor of decay over everything. It is the image of science-fiction post apocalyptic return to the dark ages: ancient machines no one understands or is able to maintain are worshiped as they fail one by one.

I started fixing things, more in the order of my understanding than severity. But I fixed a lot of stuff. I have documented the need and plans for fixing other stuff. But I don't feel very welcome. People are not eager to help me. Instead, I feel like I am a nuisance. As if before I came and pronounced that something needs fixing it worked just fine. The people in charge pay lip service to what I feel is important, but I don't see any interest in what I do and I don't see any support. And now I stop and I think. What if there is a reason all those smart capable people who built the thing are gone? What if it is not by chance that I am the only techie who does any work on the fic management system?

What if it was supposed to die of neglect and close down, soon, and because of my intervention it is doomed to long suffering? What if I, in effect, put it on life support? I am against euthanasia for people, but I think I am in favor of euthanasia for software.

So now I am in a moral dilemma. Do I continue, knowing that what I do is right and important, even if others disagree? Or do I acknowledge I was mistaken and not everything should be saved? I have not created permanent change; things I have fixed will break down again, until another chump will be found to fix them. Have I only teased the users with the dream of good IT?

Sunday, September 09, 2007

Nazis

Context. So. Back in 2002, when I was in basic training I met this guy who was into antisemitism. He was a recent immigrant from somewhere in the former USSR. He made aliyah because he thought he could get rich in Israel and he could get citizenship because he had (or said he had) some Jewish grandparent. He didn't last six months in the army. I think he was from Petach-Tiqwa, where I live. Where these guys are from. I don't think he is one of them because he's my age and the article says the oldest is 21. And I don't know anything about him. But I've met the type. Russian nationalists. They form gangs where they have nothing in common except their hate for Jews, gays and non-white people. And they go out and beat people up. For fun. Not even to mug them or anything. Three guys like that from my high school almost killed a guy they didn't know because one of them was frustrated that day because his girlfriend dumped him. Have you read "A Clockwork Orange"?

Thursday, September 06, 2007

Discharge

I'm a civilian now. Not even a reservist. Most of the trouble was getting rid of my cellphone - they wanted me to schedule an appointment to return the damn thing next week, when I had to do it today to get discharged. Eventually they agreed to accept it back but not in Tel-Aviv because there are lines. ::rollseyes::

Other than that it was very painless and rather efficient, considering the inefficiency of conscripted labor in a government-run organization.

Time to send those c.v.s. I haven't written yet.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Grey's Anatomy

So, I'm watching the first season of Grey's Anatomy because there's no House till end of September. It's like E.R. mixed with more Bridget Jones' Diary (or maybe Ally McBeal). I don't think surgical interns are actually that promiscuous, but then again, I didn't think people where fucking during programming course either… My discharge date is September 6th.

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Fruit

My parents bought a Pitaya, not knowing that it was. It's tasty, though the cost is prohibitive. Nowhere near as awesome as Litchi, so I think I'll pass next time. My father used to cultivate cacti in Leningrad where it was difficult, and my parents tell me of a date they had in the botanic gardens the night it was announced on the radio that a queen of the night is about to blossom. He didn't pick up the hobby here because it's not challenging in sub tropical climate.

Friday, July 27, 2007

New Computer

So. Now I have an almost functional computer once again. It lacks a hard drive, but while I'm waiting for someone to sell me one of these, I'm running the Ubuntu 7.04 install CD (the ASUS DRW-1814BLT won't run Knoppix 5.1.1). I'm buying a USB storage device tomorrow when a shop opens (about time). I have not yet overclocked the thing or even ran 3D graphics. I don't know whether the built-in sound device is bearable. The version of lm-sensors and the kernel that come with Ubuntu 7.04 don't support my motherboard. But the computer is damn quiet, so I'm pleased. I need to flash the BIOS and the firmware on the burner, and find out how to underclock the video card in Linux (I think nVidia's closed-source driver does that).

The usual price comparison over US prices, all except one are from newegg.com and are for today, without rebates and without shipping and handling.

 Make & ModelUS priceIsrael price (NIS)US price in NISripoff pct
CPUIntel Core2Duo E6550184995772.828.75
MBASUS P5K-E WiFi-AP2109708829.98
RAMCorsair TWIN2X2048-6400C4D1791242751.865.2
VideoASUS EN8600GT Silent137900575.456.41
CaseAntec P15016091067235.42
HDDSamsung HD321KJ8049033645.83
MonitorSamsung 226BW3502081147041.56
OpticalASUS DRW-1814BLT34249142.874.37
Total 133478375602.839.88
exchange rate4.2   

Notice the 65% "tax" on performance RAM.

Except for the hard drive, for which the price comes from www.goldtop.co.il with no guarantee on my part for anything, all other parts are available at www.gibornet.co.il and except for the monitor were successfully purchased for those prices by me personally. I have personally witnessed the monitor being available and am thinking of buying it (once I'm sure I don't want to go for the LG L226WTQ which over here is $50 USD cheaper than the Samsung).

The optical drive can be bought for 200NIS, and it's so cheap anyway that I don't count it.

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

update

After convincing my superiors that I am completely fed up with my work (turns out not being productive and spending 21 days (actually 18) in the brig does the trick) I now have three colonels' signatures on my discharge papers. I think I need two more colonels. I was told it can take a week and then I'll have a discharge date which should be this month, maybe even immediately after all signatures are present. A small personal victory, though getting transferred to a decent place a year ago would've been much better.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

grandpa died

My aunt just called dad. He had Parkinson's for as long as I remember him. Lately he's been worse, and it's kind of expected. I don't know how I feel about it yet. I loved him, considering the 70+ years age gap, he gave good (unsolicited) advice.יהי זכרו ברוך.

Friday, May 11, 2007

Long Time No Update

I did not forget R.J., but I keep forgetting to visit.

My WD400, bought in May 2001, finally died. Didn't lose much data as it has been dying for a while now and I had backups. Removed it and the Maxtor from March 2000 (that died a couple of months ago) and bought a Seagate 320GB 7200.10. It's quieter, but I think it runs warmer. I don't see a performance difference, though I know there must be, despite the same interface and rotation speed, what with the platers being at least ten times denser now. Cost me 120 USD, 50% more than the listed price on newegg.com. KSP, where I bought the Barracuda and the Caviar, have very no-nonsense but efficient service. I think I was in and out in under 60 seconds, and it's a five minute walk from Azrieli Towers.

Weather is weird: very hot and raining a bit.

Again sitting in one room with M. Is loud, looking for ways to cope.

Boss says I might be able to get an early discharge. Will see.

Friday, September 29, 2006

Life - A*Holes

Today someone broke my dad's car's windshield and stole a pouch with my my dad's id, license and registration. I guess they thought there would be money in the pouch, but there wasn't. Wouldn't it be cool if cars would record video footage and transmit to somewhere safe? You don't need to store the data for long, and any idiot who harms the car knows he's on tape somewhere. It would also help to find out what happened in accidents.

In completely unrelated news, I've downloaded Season 01 of The Simpsons - it's still funny!

Friday, July 21, 2006

No Update

Frankly, I have nothing to say. I have family in Haifa, but they are all safe. Some friends who serve in the north but don't have to have been reassigned to the center. Some people's end of semester exams have been postponed. I try not to feel anything about the dead and injured. My neighbor from when I grew up got married. A friend of mine from training is getting married in August. Another friend from training is getting married in September. Life goes on. Thank you for worrying, Emily.

Monday, June 26, 2006

Update

  • The weather is hellish.
  • Strangely, I'm excited about my current assignment. I wonder how long that will last.
  • Was ordered to give a presentation on a system I've participated in building to rest of dpt. Was horrible, because I didn't return to the big picture after each chapter so people who lost me midway had no way to reorient themselves.
  • Appears to have found a bug in IBM C/C++ compiler for zOS, systems people promised to check whether it's documented.
  • Female team member appears to be afraid of me. I didn't do anything, it's just that none of us are all ok in the head.
  • New team member is the most painfully extroverted person I've met, with no tact whatsoever, zero experience in behaving at a workplace, programming, working in teams, quasi-military reality, etc.
  • Immediate boss is control freak, not talented at management at all.
  • Services we must rely on provided by other departments don't work so it looks like our stuff doesn't work and we look like idiots to our clients.
  • Buddy got left in the sun for more than ten hours because security officer freaked and decided that state of alert equals war and he can disregard the regs. His CO couldn't do anything about it.
  • Got detention for a week for being late. Spending it in an air conditioned room with a fridge, microware oven, cold/hot water thingy, phone with civilian line and an unmonitored broadband internet connection reminded me once again that I'm not really in the army. Was kind of a vacation!
  • I work in the public sector, so it all sucks, and I can't quit because I'm under contract. Because I can't quit, they can treat me like shit, and sometimes they do. Of course they know they get shitty work from an unsatisfied, undermotivated, undertrained, unwilling, often even downright depressed and rebellious workforce, but because it's the public sector (no competition, budget is decided with no correlation to actual work being done, promotions are decided with no correlation to accomplishments) nobody cares. Does that sound cynical enough? I'm a real patriot of my country, BTW, and I believe in doing what I can to improve what I can, but really, the system fights you every step of the way.
  • Boss' boss said a number of PHB lines so bad I had to force myself not to literally ROFL on the spot. Unrelated buzzword spewage is not funny when you have to actually work with the man.
  • AM2 and Conroe both look good. Of course Conroe is designed in Israel, so I'd buy that, but if AM2 still beats Intel at price/performance with moderate overclocking, I'll probably vote for the underdog.
  • FFDB goes nowhere, but I haven't given up yet, it's just that carving time is hard when you're depressed and no one shows interest anyway.
  • The latest fandom wank sounds all exciting, but I haven't read it yet. [Ed - I've meant the mssrcibe story by bad_penny]

Take care.

About Me

GCS d- s-: a-- C++$ UL++ P+++ L+++ E--- W+++ N o? K? w++$ !O !M !V PS-(+) PE Y+ PGP+(-) t--@ 5++(+++) !X R-- tv-- b+>++ DI+++ D+ G e h! r* y--(-)>+++